31.1.12

Brave new world


Lately I have been bothered by my abundance of free time.

It's weird, really. People here and there have been jealous of how I could watch all the TV series and read all the books I want (and get more than enough sleep in a day!), while I, on the other hand, hate it. It makes me feel useless.

I don't know, I keep wanting to be productive and stay focused on schoolwork but my academic requirements (or lack, thereof) and many (impossible!) interests would beg to disagree. Perhaps I'm just not used to the idea of "not doing anything."

Less than a month from now will be our finals week and the days that will follow would be dedicated to getting our clearances signed and other graduation-related activities. Our days are numbered, so to speak.

I just found it unfair that for most of my last semester in college I'm just here in my room, checking Facebook and Twitter every ten minutes for updates from my friends about their adventures, when there is a world out there waiting for me to discover it for myself.

Don't get me wrong, I love the long breaks! I get to do the things I want, yes. I just think it's too much. And the fact that my professors this semester don't ask their classes to do a lot of work or that I don't have an organization in which I am active in doesn't really help. (And those free cuts make me feel like my scholarship is being wasted!)

I guess all this free time allows me to think more deeply, to look into things differently. And I hate it—or I'm just not used to it. I'm happy to be where I was a few semesters back, perennially occupied with deadlines, and not having to think about things like this. It was comfortable that way.

But maybe this is the transition, the opened door to the new life ahead. It's uneasy, I realized. But sooner or later I just have to face it. I have to have the guts to.

And as for my free time, I really wish someone would whack me in the head and remind me to make the most of it. I shouldn't put the remaining days to waste.

#firstworldproblems

5 comments:

  1. KAATT! hahaha

    I ENVYY YOOU WITH YOUR FREE TIME!! I actually want everything over and done with! XD hahaha I want free time so that I can pursue my other interests or projects. I have a few in mind and I need all the time that I can get especially before working too. I find that having a long free time now is better than later especially when you're working because FREE TIMES WILL BE SUPER RARE. Like in the "A Bee Movie", we're probably gonna work until we die or something... Well hopefully we can retire peacefully with enough moolah to help ourselves.

    I'm currently dying here with thesis OH GOSH. BUT ONE MORE WEEK LEFT AND IM DONE WITH IT WSBGBOGHG

    ReplyDelete
  2. ayan finally! again, you should've stayed in the news staff :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. We think alike. I love free time but it too makes me feel useless! But it was actually in college when I valued it the most! So if I were you, relish those last few days if you can! Go out and bask in the sun in Bel Field, attend a random org talk or event... Spend some time in the Rizal Lib just for the heck of it!

    Okay, this has become a little blog entry. Haha! I'd want to listen to all your adventures, Kat! Miss you! :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. I just love how well you write! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are such a sweet kid, Sonya! Always! <3

      Delete